I pick on Lloyd DuPlantis Jr., of Gray Louisiana a lot, but only because I hate him. I've hated him ever since I heard him on National Public Radio telling the world that he doesn't sell birth control pills at his pharmacy, located at 3696 W Main St in Gray, Louisiana, phone number 1-888-872-5030, "in the name of science" and that Birth control pills are "the most dangerous chemical on the market." (If you click on the link, Lloyd comes on at around the 12 minute mark) Lloyd didn't say the most dangerous prescription drug on the market, he said the most dangerous chemical. Evidently Lloyd thinks estrogen and progesterone are to be feared more than dioxin, botulism toxin, or mustard gas. Despite the fact that the number of real scientists who would say something like this is about zero, this is what Lloyd says he believes.
Poor Lloyd must be in his back yard today digging a fallout shelter and stocking up on canned food in anticipation of the flood of dangerous chemicals that are set to be turned loose on society. You see, the real scientists at the FDA have overcome years of opposition from the Christian Fascists people like Lloyd have put in power, and the agency today announced it's approval for OTC Plan B sales. On a day like this, when the Christian fascists are probably feeling a bit upset and defeated, it's probably best to reach out across the ideological divide and say something like......
IN YOUR FUCKING FACE!!!!!! TAKE THAT JESUS!!!!!!!!!!! WHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHOOOOO!!!!!!!
All right, that was just harsh. I tell you what. I was planning to hold a celebratory orgy to launch my sex based cult that easy access to Plan B will make possible. Lloyd, you can come if you want. Just do me a favor and stay in the room where the lights are off, 'cause I've seen your picture.
9 comments:
So you won't be coming to the orgy then Jesse?
Look, I know Plan B is not the optimal form of contraception, and everyone who has ever asked my opinion has been told that. As hard as I found it to accept however, I've come to realize there are people out there who are not interested in my opinion. These people are still going to have sex. I don't want them to have babies, and most of the time, neither do they.
This has everything to do with dudes who aren't going to wear condoms under any circumstances being very persuasive about getting their dick in somewhere anyway. Take a look at the comments to the "Stupidest Boyfriend Ever" post. "The only thing better than a flavored condom is no condom at all" You've never heard of a woman giving in when it's in her best interest not to? Just as they have ways of making you talk at Guantanamo, a horny guy who's a hundred pounds heavier than his girlfriend has ways of obtaining "consent." It's been happening since the first molecule of testosterone was released into some dude's bloodstream.
This has a lot to do with having to take Plan B within 72 hours and it being a pain in the ass to find a doctor that quickly.
This has a little to do with Catholic hospitals which have policies of not giving Plan B to rape victims if they test that they are ovulating.
Yes, condoms are best, because they are the safest way to have sex and because they are cheap. Unfortunately they require a guy not to have all his brains in his penis. Penis brains are all a lot of guys have, and they are exactly the ones we don't want reproducing.
another way of looking at it, has anyone here ever drank too much? Of course you have. Now imagine that bad decision, or any bad decision you've ever made, could lead to the possibility of pregnancy.
You shouldn't drink too much, just as you shouldn't have unprotected sex. People will though. They shouldn't be penalized for the rest of their lives for it.
we shouldn't be penalized with the burden of their damn children either. HURRAY for OTC plan B....although I am sure it is not going to be cheap....that should help encourage people to be wise about using it as their primary form of birth control. I imagine it will be around 50 bucks. Anyone have a price at your store yet?
i read somewhere it was retailing for 30-40 bucks.
More importantly, bring on the sex-based cults!
I'm awaiting details. Can I wear the pants that chafe my ass, or are we just going to start out nude?
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Everyone is so serious.
I don't do serious. Too much trouble. Plus, then people take you... seriously.
Oh yeah, and TAKE THAT JESUS! Indeed.
You have no idea how much I was hoping to incorporate the ass chafing jeans into the cult initiation ritual.
Your unique qualifications in this area Chloe, would make you a perfect mistress of ceremonies.
Of course you would be completely nude, except for your purity ring.
I respect people who refuse to dispense BC and plan B(even though they are biggots) more than people who dispense BC but not plan B. If you believe life begins at conception then you should have a problem with both plan B and BC. However stupid Christian pharmacists refuse plan B but slap a label on BC with no problem. Probably because they would be out of a Job if they were like Lloyd. At least Lloyd has balls and stands up for what he believes... even though he is a moron he is not a hypocrite like the thousands that refuse to dispense plan B.
so according to you, at least the taliban have balls and stand up for what they believe, making them worthy of some measure of respect.
give me a break.
At $41.99 for two pills at least at my pharmacy, I don't think Plan B is in danger of becoming anyone's primary method of birth control. I have sold two packs so far to two sweet young college students with what I am sure are promising futures. What women in these desperate situations need is compassion and the opportunity for a second chance, not the judgemental paternalism of the christian right. I defy Lloyd DuPlantis Jr of Gray, LA to look into the teary eyes of one of those women and scold them for their irresponsible behavior.
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