Exubera. What Kind Of Wuss Finds This Product Appealing?

Never underestimate the whininess of those who have to inject insulin. Year after year I have had to listen to 400 pound mouth breathing, saliva dripping cretins go on and on about how fate has dealt them the cruel fate of being a diabetic. I'm not talking about the type I's here, who were born with a whacked pancreas. The type II diabetics though, have destroyed their pancreas with years spent eating ho-ho's on the couch watching re-runs of The Jeffersons while doing things like taking the riding mower to the mailbox to avoid the possibility of exercise. Now they are sick and they are not going to let you forget it. I wonder what any woman who's ever been through childbirth thinks when they hear the lazy diabetic sloths complain about the pin pricks they have to put themselves through. Hell, I knew a chick once in college who cut up her legs with razors for fun. Granted, I think she's in an institution now, but she's living proof that the little pinch of an insulin injection is very low on life's list of things to complain about. Especially if the alternative is a diabetic coma.

Pfizer looks at their wussiness however, and sees a marketing opportunity. Introducing Exubera, a breakthrough in insulin therapy for diabetes treatment, and by "breakthrough" I mean "no advantage in blood sugar control over what is already on the market." The Exubera difference is that you inhale your insulin instead of putting it under your skin. Here's a picture of Exubera in action:



Now who wouldn't want a piece of that when the alternative is discreetly slipping away to use an insulin auto pen? Especially when this bong DOESN'T WORK ANY BETTER.

Users of Exubera will also be taking their insulin, which needs to be dosed precisely, and introducing the variables of sneezing, coughing, breathing rate and lung congestion into the equation. They will have to be monitored for any decrease in lung function, and they will be trusting that the industrial-regulatory complex that brought us Baycol, Bextra, Duract, Posicor, Propulsid, Tequin, Rezulin and Vioxx has taken the necessary safety precautions to avoid the possibility of something like an "Exubera-lung" syndrome surprise in the years to come.

Exubera won't eliminate insulin injections for everyone who uses it. Some people will be sucking on that plastic tube AND injecting insulin.

Did I mention that Exubera DOESN'T WORK ANY BETTER than what's already on the market?

So if you're a whiny-ass, limp wristed wussy who's on insulin therapy, by all means be sure to ask your doctor about Exubera. I have a feeling you won't be running to the office though. You'll probably be taking your riding mower.